Everything will be good when I, wish Robyn Rihanna Fenty, am 30.
Like the majority of humans, I have goals and dreams and ambitions that I want at some point within my earthly existence to attain. Many of them I believe are pretty achievable; others, you understand, like buying a true home, feeling a little more pie-in-the-sky. My latest goal, however (by literally today) is usually to be 30. Because today this is, 20 February, is Robyn Rihanna Fenty’s 30th birthday, and that implies that 30 is no more just an age group: it’s a way of life, and an aspirational one at that. If Rihanna’s carrying it out, I wanna do it (that is similar to when I once attempted to buy Fenty slides throughout a fire alarm).
As I write this I am 23, almost precisely a month away from turning 24, but Rihanna makes 30 appearances so excellent that I’m actually sort of wishing I could fast-forward a couple of years. Probably if I had been 30 I will be able, like Rihanna, to steal a wines cup from whatever establishment I have already been at and make it appear to be an intentional clothing accessory. I possess stolen a wines glass from a bar exactly once: I clumsily hid it in the within pocket of my huge denim jacket while incredibly drunk on a Tinder day, and later through your wine glass in a general public bin since it was annoying rather than cool and I kept obtaining the wine down me before my date, who was simply hot. If I were 30, like Rihanna, I would make glass-stealing look effortless and mystical. Instead, I am 23, and also have no hand-vision co-ordination. Oh to be 30.
It’s only struck me today, a Holy Daytime, to be certain, that if I, like Rihanna, were 30, all my complications would be solved. On her behalf, 30 looks sexy, self-assured, rather than at all a terrifying marker of personal mortality you are designed to celebrate with a mini-break or cocktail party, even while considering impending oblivion. It simply looks cool (so you apparently end up being the CEO of the world’s most sought-after make-up brand, in addition to a beloved musician). İndication me up.